tonight, im nt gonna blog abt anything particularly interesting..but jus normal hum drum kinda stuff..
1) its amazing to feel comfortable in ur own skin. Tonight, i feel so n-o-r-m-a-l. The kind of feeling ive not felt in a long time. a nice feeling. its a "this is me, take it or leave it but this is jus the way i am and i like being me, and i wldnt wanna be anyone else" kinda feelin. i KNOW i shldnt feel any other way, primarily so cuz im loved by many many and my friends love and adore me, right?! But, tonight, i feel, for the very first time in a looong time, like, i dont have to measure myself against any yardstick. like, i dont have to strive to be bigger than myself. i feel like, me. and i like every bit of it. and i dont want my size to go down in the right places and for it to increase in others, i dont want to be richer, i dont want to look this way or particularly that way, i'm nt goin to get worked up over relationship matters, im not going to compare myself with anyone else, i dont want a fairytale dream come true. i am happy. AND, i am me.
its impt to know who u are. firstly, it whittles life into smaller pieces, making life more understandable. secondly, over the past wk, i realized, its possible to stare back at the mirror, and wonder, "whos that person, staring back at me?"
I got called for miss singapore india. quite a shocker yet a humbling experience. but in all due sense, it makes it sensible for me to take a pass on it. i get stage fright AND i will need smthng for a talent round.
2) i make my boyfriend's life miserable. im quite certain of it. im sorry, chinnu. but like a good frend once mentioned, ive ideas sprouting out of my head in ALL directions at the same moment. and i jus autopilot them off, without brain-filtering them first. so, that poor boy has to endure loads of impulsive comments and insensitive remarks. and i really admire him for that :) do u guys realize that letting a guy into ur life, changes ur world upside down? suddenly, ure worried abt things that u'd never been upset over and u get all wired up for the wrong reasons. I guess its really impt to get urself grounded. its difficult not to hold grudges but getting over them, has to be the best solution.
3) i think im quite a cry baby. I really dont know wads wrong with me. i nv used to be like that.
(a) i TEAR when i watch the DBS advertisement. know the one with the cab driver and son becoming a pilot???? that one! its sooooo sad
(b) the other day, my mom was commenting abt wad wld happen shld she pass away, and all of a sudden, the dams break loose...and im bawling..."dont speak abt dying mooooommmy!!!"
(c) i TEAR when watching tamil movies. its so sad. ok. it was not a cheesy corny ethnic movie ok. it was soo sad. see, the boyfriend indirectly causes the death of his girlfriend. so he feels super bad and wants to commit suicide. numerous attempts, he fails. but den, he gets enlightened. he sees his gf's ghost everywhere. HE see bits of her everywhere...the memories she left behind...so the ghost tells him to work hard. and he really does and prospers, but he lives with her memories, some kinda delusion that she's still around...soooo sad but sweet.
(d) and obviously, when mr yours truly gets into his mean streak, i get really really really sad. only sad. nuthing else. sad. sad. sad.
4) i think tamil songs are utterly for those in love. they're hopelessly romantic and sweet.
oru naalum unai maravaadha inidhaana varam vendum
uravalum udal uyiraalum piriyadha varam vendum
viliyodu imai pola vilagada nilai vendum
ennai aalum ejamanae.
haha, im sparing u guys the sweet syrupy translation. as long as it reaches the one that its sppsed to. cheers :)
and so her story is told@ 9:53 AM
